Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
