Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
