I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
