At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
