hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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