Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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