So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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