So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's just like the Real World with babies
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
