it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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