You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
