my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wear drunk well.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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