I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
