We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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