How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
