So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Small penises have feelings too.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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