u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
