So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
