after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
