I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
