so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
