alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
