hotel room ftw
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
