Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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