It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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