Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize