highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
