is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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