Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
