You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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