I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
