In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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