I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
birth control should be required to get into college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
