you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
