remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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