Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize