waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my shit smells like andre
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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