fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
