sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
