Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
