D3 body, D1 cock
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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