Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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