I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
