Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
