i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
