we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
