this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
