There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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