is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
