The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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