If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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