Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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