At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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