dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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