I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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