hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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