i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
