it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
