I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
