shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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