i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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