I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
