After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
