i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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