It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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