You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
